Jedi Games
by JediLuminaraUnduli
Summary: The Jedi have 'fun' in different, crazy ways. Sequel, sort of, to Jedi Chaos. The long-awaited Chapter 10 is up! Sequel or no sequel? That is the question.
1. Truth or Dare I

**Jedi Games Part I: Truth Or Dare **

Summary: Certain Jedi play games. Board games, Game shows, any game. Open to suggestions of games. I know Qui Gon and Tahl are dead, but they're here because I need them for my story.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars and its characters. I also don't own Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Monopoly, and Moment of Truth. _

--

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Eleven pairs of eyes watched the clock.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

"This is soooo boring!" Anakin complained.

"Yeah," Obi Wan agreed.

Yaddle, Shaak Ti, Aayla Secura, Kit Fisto, Obi Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Mace Windu, Qui Gon Jinn, Tahl, Adi Gallia and Yoda, were lying on their stomachs staring at a small alarm clock in the middle of the floor.

"I know!" Anakin said suddenly. "We'll play a game!"

Everyone looked suspiciously at him. "What sort of games?" Mace asked, cautiously. Everyone understood his wariness. Anakin had a knack of making up ridiculous (and sometimes dangerous) games to pass the time.

"Truth or Dare!" Anakin declared.

Shaak Ti nodded. "Okay…" Aayla said, slowly. Kit shrugged, noncommittally. Obi Wan agreed and Yoda lifted his crutches instead of his head (He still hadn't recovered from being beat up by Obi Wan). Mace and Adi looked unsure, and somewhat suspicious. Yaddle sneezed; Obi Wan took this as a yes.

To loosen up the atmosphere in the room, Anakin took control. "I'll go first; everyone get into a circle."

They all shuffled into a sort-of circle. Yoda settled down beside Yaddle and waggled his eyebrows at her; she pointedly turned away to make conversation to Anakin, who was next to her. A little way off, Mace was trying to hit on Aayla Secura, which provoked Kit Fisto to promptly attempt to beat him up. Shaak Ti was being the referee of the match, and there was general chaos. Adi, Qui Gon and Tahl just sat there, looking rather lost in such a noisy group; they were trying to make small talk.

Obi Wan stood up. "QUIETTT!!" he shouted, at the top of his lungs. Kit was so surprised, he slackened his headlock on Mace, who quickly slipped out.

Anakin said, "I'll go first."

Turning to Yaddle, who was beside him, he said, "Truth or dare?"

Yaddle considered it. "Dare," she said.

Anakin took a deep breath. "I dare you to kiss Yoda-on the lips."

Yaddle's eyes popped; Yoda looked gleeful. "Do I have to?" she asked, weakly.

Anakin grinned. "You chose dare. You have to do it."

Taking a deep breath, like she was going to sacrifice herself and save the city, Yaddle leaned forward… and planted a kiss on Yoda's lips. She sat back and wiped her mouth dozens of times on her sleeve. Yoda jumped up and cheered like crazy.

Anakin watched. Then, he said, "Yoda, calm down. Okay, Yaddle, you have to ask Mace."

Glaring at Anakin, she said to Mace, "Truth or Dare, you say?"

Mace considered. After what had just happened to Yaddle, he felt it would be safer to say 'truth'. After all, he didn't want to smooch Yoda!

"Truth..." he said slowly. Yaddle grinned, evilly. This was the best opportunity to lead the attention from herself.

Yaddle thought for a moment, and then said, "Who was your first crush?"

Mace turned beet red. Yaddle smiled, sweetly. "Hmmmm?"

Mace stammered, "Uhhhmmmmmmm…. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh …. oooooo hummmmmmmmm errrrrrrrrr…"

"Get on with it!" Kit snapped. He was looking fidgety (probably because he was next).

Mace looked upset. "My first crush was…" He blushed again.

"HURRY UP!!" Everyone screamed.

"… Tahl."

Everyone gasped. "But Tahl's Qui Gon's girlfriend!" Aayla blurted out.

"I know." Mace sighed.

Qui Gon gagged; Tahl pounded him on the back.

"Okay, okay, move on. Next is Kit, right?" Mace turned to Kit, who looked somewhat suspicious.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare…"

"Okay. I DARE you to eat 15 lemons. Underwater."

Everyone gasped. "But that's impossible!" Adi exclaimed. "Even for a Nautolan or a Mon Calamarian!"

"Fine. NOT underwater."

At that moment, Bant Eerin poked her head into the door. "Hello, guys. Can I join in?"

Kit nodded, he patted a seat next to him. Bant settled down. "What's happened, so far?"

Kit paused. "Well, we're playing Truth or Dare, Yaddle kissed Yoda, Mace admitted that his first crush was Tahl, and I'm about to suck 15 sour lemons. Because Mace dared me."

Bant gasped. "Really?" She looked slightly more reluctant to play. Kit patted her on the back. "Don't worry. I'll be okay once the fanfic author writes that I am."

"Get on with it!" Mace yelled. Kit gave him a hard look; he quieted down.

Kit got out 15 lemons. Slowly, deliberately, he sucked in his breath, and put the lemon into his mouth, squeezing in the juice. He did this fifteen more times.

When he was done, he tried to wipe his mouth. He couldn't. His mouth was puckered up, and he couldn't move his lips.

Kit raced out of the room. He came back with a pencil and some paper.

_Okay, Bant_, he wrote, _It's your turn now. Don't worry, _he added, noticing her nervous expression. _I'll go easy on you. Truth or dare? _

Bant took the second one.

_Okay, Padawan. I dare you to push Mace down the garbage chute. _

Since Mace couldn't see the paper, he had no idea what Bant's challenge was. But he DID know that one minute he was sitting normally on the ground, the next he was being chucked into one of the smelliest tunnels he'd ever been in by an undersized being. The most important thing, though, was that he was afraid of enclosed spaces. However, Bant didn't know. But Kit did.

--

Mace went screaming down the tunnel. Pieces and leftovers of lunches, dinners, snacks, and breakfasts pasted themselves onto him. _I am going to KILL Kit for this,_ Mace grumbled, in between screams. He suddenly noticed how dark it was. And how the walls seemed to be closing on him… and closing… and closing…

--

Kit listened for a moment at Mace's screams of terror. Satisfied, he closed the door to the shaft.

Bant looked worried. "Will he be okay?"

Kit shrugged, still unable to speak.

Anakin said, "Okay, Bant it's your turn. Truth or Dare to Aayla."

Bant turned to Aayla. "Truth.. or Dare?"

Aayla thought about it… "Dare."

Bant said, with an unnaturally evil look in her large silver eyes, "I dare you to slap Yoda. In FRONT of the Council."

All the beings, human, Noorian, Nautolan, unknown, or otherwise, gasped. Aayla looked shaky. "But I'll get kicked out of the Order!" She looked frantically at Kit, begging for his support, but he only shrugged, as if saying, S_he dared you. You have to do it now_.

Huffing a long breath, Aayla and Yoda marched into the Council room, where the entire Council,(except for Mace and Adi and Obi Wan) were seated. She turned around sharply on her heels, and whacked Yoda across the face with her hand. Then, she turned to Bant and Kit, and yelled, "Are you happy now?!"

Kit nodded, Bant grinned. Kit slowly leaned toward Bant. "On the count of three, we run. She's got that scary look on her face that reminds me of the time I stepped on a Hutt."

Aayla started for them. "One…" She glared, and put her hands on her hips. "Two…"Her lekkus waved angrily. "Three!" Bant and Kit took off dashing, with Aayla just a half-meter behind.

--

Back in the game room, Anakin said, "Okay, who's next? Other than Aayla, I mean."

Shaak Ti raised her hand. "Okay, Shaak. Truth or Dare?"

Shaak replied, "Truth."

"Who would you rather marry, if you could, Obi Wan" Anakin shot his Master a sly look (Obi Wan made a fist at him) "-or Grievous?"

Shaak answered right away. "Obi Wan."

Obi Wan leapt up into the air, did some sort of wild victory dance, and started chanting some weird Sithy-like song.

Shaak watched with a puzzled expression. "What's he doing?" Anakin leaned over, and whispered in her ear, "He likes you." She shot him a horrified expression. Anakin nodded wisely. "It's true. I read his diary."

Shaak gagged; Anakin could understand. "But I only chose him because that cyborg nearly killed me!"

Anakin shrugged. "Good luck telling him that, then."

She sighed. She didn't want to ruin Obi Wan's mood, but she knew it had to be done.

Slowly, cautiously, she creeped closer to where Obi Wan was dancing some disco thing, and…

__

--

What happened to Mace? Will Aayla beat up Bant and Kit? How will Obi take Shaak's rejection? All in the next chapter!

Okay, folks, that's all I have time for today! Plus, every game I choose to do will have 1-3 chapters each. This is sort of a sequel to Jedi Chaos for all those who wanted one. I might post in 1-3 days, depends how busy I am. Review please!!


	2. Truth or Dare II

Jedi Games Part II: Truth Or Dare II

**Jedi Games Part II: Truth Or Dare II**

Summary: Certain Jedi play games. Board games, Game shows, any game. Open to suggestions of games. I know Qui Gon and Tahl are dead, but they're here because I need them for my story.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars and its characters. I also don't own Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Monopoly, and Moment of Truth. _

--

_From the previous chapter…_

Slowly, cautiously, she crept closer to where Obi Wan was dancing some disco thing, and poked him on the shoulder.

"Err… Obi Wan…"

Obi Wan stopped dancing. "What, precious?"

"I hate to break it to you, but…"

"Hmmm…?" Obi Wan wasn't paying attention.

"… I only chose you because you're not a Sithy-cyborg."

Obi Wan stopped dancing. "Really?" he asked.

Shaak nodded. "Really," she said, seriously.

Obi Wan's face crumpled like a deflated soufflé. Shaak slowly backed up to Anakin again, and the two of the watched Obi Wan melt to the ground and start sobbing uncontrollably.

"Gee," Shaak whispered to Anakin, "Do you think I should've told him?"

Anakin shrugged. "It was for the best. But you can go tell him you like him if you want to make him happy (and crazy) and drive the rest of us insane."

She watched Obi Wan on the floor, curled into fetal position, looking like someone close to him like his Master had died.

"Hmmm…"

Then, Obi Wan started pulling on Qui Gon's legs, screaming and wailing and Qui Gon had to get up and shake him off.

--

Mace hurtled down the unending tunnel. Gross pieces of food kept whacking him in the face. _Gagh! Kit had better be ready when I come… _he thought, murderously. At long-oh-so-long last, the tunnel stopped, and he ended, with a bump… In the garbage escape pod.

--

Kit and Bant huddled in the closet.

"Do you think she'll find us here?" Bant whispered.

Kit tried to shrug, but he was too squished and just when with nudging her with his foot.

"Shhh… She's got good hearing when she's mad…"

Bant nodded, and the two waited in a deafening silence.

--

Aayla stormed down the hallway. She could not find that dratted Kit and that _fishy-toad-like_ Bant anywhere!? "Stupid, stupid, stupid, tentacle-head… stupid, stupid, stupid, frog-face…" she grumbled under her breath. From the closet came two angry voices, "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, BLUE-UGGY-HORNISH-UMM… WE DON'T KNOW A BLUE ANIMAL, SO WE'LL CALL YOU… HUTT!! Uh oh.. I think we just gave away our locations."

As Aayla veered to the door, Kit and Bant burst out, running a thousand kilometers per second. "WAAAAH!!" they screamed, in their desperate rush to get out.

Aayla reached for them only a second too late – Kit's tentacles slipped from her grasp only a few inches away.

Running as fast as they could, (their legs were a blur), Kit and Bant dashed towards the bathrooms… where they could lock themselves in stalls.. so Aayla couldn't catch them…

--

Mace tried to stand up. He couldn't – mainly because he was knee deep in trash and leftover food. He resolved to banging as hard as he could on the walls.

--

Qui Gon took a deep breath. "Okay, Obi Wan.. Dare me.." Obi Wan sniffled and curled up, and turned away. "Fine… Tahl, dare me…"

"You want dare?"

"Yes…"

Tahl listened for a moment. "Qui.. I dare you to let Mace out of the garbage pod in front of all the Jedi Knights and Council.

Qui Gon gulped. "But Mace will hate me!"

Tahl snorted. "Are you SCARED of Mace Windu? What are you the GREAT Qui Gon Jinn for, then? Show some of that famed muscle!"

Qui Gon groaned, softly. She had him, and she knew it.

"Fine. I'll do it."

--

_Will Aayla catch Bant and Kit? Is Mace Windu in for one of the worst humiliations of his life? What happened to Adi, Yoda, and Yaddle? All in Truth or Dare III! _

_If I don't get at least 2 more reviews by the next time I post, maybe 2 days later?, you'll never hear from this story again!! Mwahahaha!!_


	3. Truth or Dare III

Jedi Games Part III: Truth or Dare III

**Jedi Games Part III: Truth or Dare III**

Summary: Certain Jedi play games. Board games, Game shows, any game. Open to suggestions of games. I know Qui Gon and Tahl are dead, but they're here because I need them for my story. Thank you to all who Reviewed.

**DarthKenObi-wan** : I was just kidding, lol. Yeah, I kinda didn't want to do it to Obi Wan, but I just had to. I'm SO evil.

**KCS**: I'm scared of heights.. that's where I got the idea for Mace's phobia!

**Anisgurl56**: Yes, I will update soon…

_Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars and its characters. I also don't own Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Monopoly, and Moment of Truth. _

--

_From the previous chapter… _

Tahl snorted. "Are you SCARED of Mace Windu? What are you the GREAT Qui Gon Jinn for, then? Show some of that famed muscle!"

Qui Gon groaned, softly. She had him, and she knew it.

"Fine. I'll do it."

--

Mace banged as hard as he could. He was in a trapped space, and he didn't like it one bit!

He leaned on the door and shoved with all his might. Try as he may, he couldn't budge it. Mace supposed he'd just have to wait.

--

Qui Gon dragged his feet down the hallway. He didn't want to do it, but he knew that since Tahl had dared him, he'd have to do it, or put up with her nagging.

He reached the garbage pod. There was already a crowd there, who thought that there was some wild animal in the chute. The Council was gathered as well, raising their lightsabers on the ready.

Ignoring the shouts of annoyance as he shoved his way through, Qui Gon made for the door. "Stop!" Plo Koon yelled at him. "The thing in there's dangerous!"

Qui Gon paid him no attention as he used his lightsaber to pry open the door. Mace stood there, amid a mess of ice cream, bananas, turkey, and other foods gone bad, covered in the stuff himself.

As everyone took in the sight, Qui Gon took a bow, and Mace turned red. The mob began to giggle, and soon it turned into a full-throated roar of laughter.

Qui Gon took off running, with Mace on his tail, pinkish-purple lightsaber waving.

--

Obi Wan remained curled up in a ball on the floor. Shaak felt sorry for him, but she knew she couldn't lie. It wasn't the Jedi way. Glancing around for something to distract herself from Obi Wan's pathetic form, she spotted Adi and Yaddle apparently in a heated (but quiet) argument.

As she approached them, she heard Adi mutter, "He does TOO!" to which Yaddle muttered back, "Does not, he does."

Attempting to be the peacekeeper, Shaak interrupted. "He does what?"

Adi whispered, "Love me!" Yaddle shook her head wisely and twirled a crooked finger around her temple. "Cuckoo, she is," Yaddle murmured sadly, and extremely innocently. "Very, very sad, it is."

Shaak turned to Adi. "Why do you think he - "

Adi sniffed. "Because he said so! Or rather, wrote so."

Yaddle snorted. "Otherwise, he said, Adi! Like Shaak, he does. Duh, it is."

Adi glared at Shaak, who sighed. "I already said no, okay?"

Adi gasped. "You did? Wow…!"

Yaddle rolled her eyes. "Morons, you all are."

Shaak stood up. "I'm going to go talk to Tahl." With that, she left.

Yaddle grinned at Adi. "Torture Yoda, should I?"

Adi shrugged. "Your choice."

Yaddle stretched and headed out the door.

--

Bant screeched to a halt outside the girl's bathrooms. She dashed in, and locked herself into a stall. She crawled into all the other ones and locked them, too. Then, she stood on the seat of the toilet so she wasn't seen.

Kit dashed into the boy's bathroom. There were stalls, but the locks were all broken. Looking around desperately, he crawled under the sink and made himself as small as possible.

Aayla marched into the girl's bathroom. All the stalls were locked. Bant could be in any one of them. She peeked at the bottom of all the stalls. No feet. _Well, fine. Don't make it TOO easy,_ she thought. Aayla leaped up and got stuck halfway on the top of the door. She saw Bant. Bant saw her. Bant ran. Aayla tried to catch her, but she was stuck on the door. She could only watch as Bant speeded out the door.

--

Kit saw Bant run out. He ducked out of the sink. He asked her how she'd escaped. Apparently, Aayla had gotten stuck on the door. Kit and Bant ventured back into the bathroom. Aayla was dangling there, looking rather pathetic. Being as kind as they were, Kit and Bant helped her down. But not before they made her surrender.

--

Qui Gon burst into the room. Mace crashed right into him. What they saw before them made them freeze and forget about Mace trying to beat Qui up.

Yoda and Yaddle were rolling on the floor, wrestling. Yaddle had Yoda in a headlock, but Yoda had grabbed her legs and was trying to flip her. The group that had been playing Truth or Dare in the first place, was watching and cheering (mostly for Yaddle, Yoda'd hit them way too many times with his stick). Yaddle whacked Yoda hard on the head with her free arm, but Yoda managed to slip out of her headlock. He kicked hard at her left, but Yaddle stepped aside, coolly, and he missed. The momentum of his swing had knocked him off balance, and Yaddle took this opportunity to score a few punches. The fight went on for a few more minutes, until Yaddle won, holding Yoda to the ground by standing on his back.

As they helped Yoda up, Obi Wan asked, "How'd she beat you?"

Yoda grumbled. "Allowed to use the Force, we were not." Obi Wan stuck out his tongue, and skipped away, ready to spread the news.

--

OK! This is the last chapter for Truth or Dare! Next one's gonna be like Moment of Truth, except it's called 'Secrets Revealed". Reviews please!


	4. Secrets Revealed I

Secrets Revealed: Part I

**Secrets Revealed: Part I**

_Sorry for the wait, I had a writer's block, plus school was ending, so bye-bye to my friends… _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. I don't even own a dog. I also don't own the concept of Moment of Truth._

--

After Yoda and Yaddle finished up their fight, they all sat down in a circle.

"What should we do now?" Anakin asked.

"Well, we could play another game… I suppose…" Obi Wan mused. "Do you guys want to?"

The rest all nodded.

Adi called out, "We could use that old theater on the east wing of the Temple for a game show."

There was some murmuring, and Tahl raised her hand. Obi Wan called on her.

"I know I'm blind and all, but I can still sense that there aren't many people here."

It was true; there were only ten beings here. They would need a few more, perhaps one or two, if they wanted a game show.

"We could ask Master Luminara and Padawan Barriss," Qui Gon suggested.

Obi Wan nodded; Bant jumped up and called over her shoulder as she ran from the room, "I'll go get them."

--

Anakin watched as the Jedi assembled in the theater. After they had all found a seat, he raised his hands for silence.

"Okay, everyone. We'll have 3 judges, ummm, 7 contestants, and 2 questioners. I'll be the questioner; Tahl, Barriss and Luminara, you guys will be judges, Bant and I will be questioners, and Obi Wan and Kit and Aayla, you're contestants. The rest of you can be the audience who votes who was most truthful. Okay? Got it? Over the your places!"

As everyone rushed to their specified locations, Obi Wan began to get a really bad feeling about this. _What was Anakin up to?_

--

Anakin: Okay, everyone… Order to court…

Kit: Hurry up! We're waaaaaiting!!

Anakin: FINE!!

Adi: Don't spaz, Ani-honey (flutters eyelashes)

Anakin (Rolls eyes): Okay, Obi Wan you're first. Who were your last three crushes, recent, to oldest?

Obi Wan: Umm.. Luminara, Shaak, and, um, Adi.

Adi: YES!!

Anakin: He put you last; that means you're a FORMER one.

Adi: (Looks disappointed) Drat. Sith-spit.

Shaak: Thank god I'm not the latest (looks relieved)

Luminara: gasp cough-cough ahem

Barriss: …

Anakin: There you have it, folks! Question number one! Any comments?

Kit: It's ridiculous! Obi Wan and Luminara? Together?

Aayla: Unnatural, but sweet!

Shaak: I pity you, Luminara

Yoda: Oooooooooooooooooooohh!!

Yaddle: Weird, you all are

Bant: Cool! Go OBI!

Qui Gon: I wish you good luck, apprentice.. You're gonna need it.

Obi Wan: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Qui Gon: My turn!

Bant: Have you ever kissed Tahl in your whole relationship? Ever? How many times?

Qui Gon: Uh… (turns red, with Tahl in sync)

Qui Gon: No-o.

Bant: No? (gasp from audience) You mean that you've never-ever-evveeeeeeerrrrr-

Qui Gon: Nonnonononononononono!!

Bant: Wow.

Qui Gon: Yeah, so what? (looks grouchy)

Obi Wan: But you've been together for like, years! Since I was a Padawan!

Qui Gon: Yeah well, the author of the series killed Tahl before we had any time together, soo…

Bant: What about now?

Qui Gon: Pardon?

Bant: Do it now! Right here!

Qui Gon: (gawks and gags) Are you crazy?!

(audience leans forwards, listening attentively)

Bant: (Nods wisely)

Qui Gon: How-Wha?!

(audience chants, Do it, Do it, Do it)

Qui Gon is faced with pressure. Obi Wan can't help but grin. _Haha.. Take their minds off me and my crush on Luminara.. Mwaha…_

Kit: Sorry that this isn't about Qui Gon's question, but Obi Wan, when did you stop liking Shaak and Adi?

Obi Wan: When Shaak dumped me, and when I realized Yoda wrote that I liked Adi. Then, she went crazy, and I lost my crush.

Adi: Drat.

Kit: What about Luminara? When'd that start?

Obi Wan: Ummm… I dunno…

Anakin: Well?

Obi Wan: (breaks out in sweat) Well, um, I guess..

Anakin: (pressures him) WEEEEEEEELLLLL??

Obi Wan: well, you know that mission to Ansion? Well, then.

Anakin: (nods slowly.. ) Ah. I see. Back to Qui Gon.

Qui Gon: Darnit.

Anakin: Gonna do it, or not?

Qui Gon: I choose… not.

Anakin: Chicken!!

Qui Gon: Turkey, you mean.

Anakin: No, chicken.

Qui Gon: Whatsa chicken?

Anakin: (flaps arms, looks demented) You know…

Obi Wan : (leans towards Qui Gon ) Are you sure we should have brought him to back with us? I mean, maybe Tatooine's suns have fried his brains – if they exist.

Anakin: Ahem.

Obi Wan: (does cuckoo sign)

Anakin: Hey! (pouts)

Qui Gon: I still say no, Ani.

Obi Wan: Please?

Qui Gon: Fine. But if I do it, you have to kiss Luminara.

Obi Wan: (freezes in mid-dance) Wha?

Qui Gon: You heard me.

Obi Wan: Dratit..

Qui Gon: Well?

--

_Should Obi Wan and Qui Gon do it? Will Tahl and Luminara agree? Should I keep going with the Luminara/Obi Wan thing? Where in the world did Mace go?_

Okay, that's all for now.. Reviews!


	5. Secrets Revealed II

**Secrets Revealed Part II**

_This is the last 'Secrets Revealed' chapter! Next we'll have, 'The Dr. Bant Show!'. Long chapter because of the long wait last time. This chapter is somewhat random. Reviews are welcome, Please don't flame!_

_PS. To all my awesome reviewers, YOU ROCK!!_

**--**

Obi Wan: (freezes in mid-dance) Wha?

Qui Gon: You heard me.

Obi Wan: Dratit..

Qui Gon: Well?

Obi Wan: (Eyes wide, looks shocked) Are you serious?

Qui Gon: (nods wisely) Yes.

Obi Wan: (freaks out) What?! You-you-

Qui Gon: Yes, me?

Obi Wan: You-you Sideous-like Jedi!

Qui Gon: (frowns) Now, Padawan, don't give any spoilers away. Some of us haven't read Revenge of the Sith yet. Plus, Sith and Jedi are opposites.

Obi Wan: (rolls eyes) I'm not your Padawan anymore. And I know _you've_ read Revenge of the Sith already.

Qui Gon: How did you know?

Obi Wan: It was on your library card.

Qui Gon: (gasps) You stalker!

Obi Wan: Nuh-uh

Qui Gon: Let's concentrate on the matter at hand.

Obi Wan: (looks grouchy) Fine.

Qui Gon turns to audience. "What do you think?

Adi pouts.

Kit looks amazed and nods.

Aayla says, "YES!"

Mace runs out the door (don't know why).

Anakin shouts his agreement (Obviously because he doesn't want to be the only Jedi who's ever kissed a girl)

Qui Gon: Well, you have it!

Obi Wan: So the majority says… Yes?

(Audience cheers)

Qui Gon: Fine.

Obi Wan: Harrumph.

Qui Gon: Quit being such a grouch. You should be enjoying this.

Obi Wan: I'm not.

Barriss: Are you going to do it or not?

(Obi Wan turns to her slowly)

Barriss: Well?

Obi Wan: (Makes fist sign)

Barriss: Maaaaster!! Obi Wan's being mean!!

Luminara: Why-oh-why do I always get the weird ones? Obi Wan, don't be mean to Barriss. Barriss, please quit whining.

Obi Wan: Fine. (Makes fist sign again when Luminara turns her back)

Barriss: Hum.

Kit: Are ya gonna do it or not?!

Aayla: Yah!

(Mace runs back in, holding a HoloVidRecorder (Which is, in Earth terms, a Video Camera))

Mace: Did I miss anything?!

Adi: Nope, you're just in time.

Mace: Good. (Sets up camera)

Tahl: Good grief.

Mace: What?!

Tahl: You're really weird.

Mace: Me? Weird? I'm not the blind one!

Tahl: Oh yeah? You'll be blind pretty soon.

Mace: (gulps) Well… Ah..

Tahl: (Force-pushes Mace into the wall with a slight flick of her hand)

Mace: (OOMPH!)

Tahl: Hmm… should I bash your HoloVid-thingy too?

Mace: NO!!

Tahl: YES!! (Smashes Recorder in wall beside Mace)

Mace: NO! Sonny, speak to me! Speak to Daddy!

Tahl: Oh Sith…

Mace: Sonny! Are you there?

Tahl: Weird people.

**--**

Qui Gon paced the floor. Would he do it?

Obi Wan fiddled with his fingers. He wasn't sure…

**--**

Luminara watched in fascination as Mace clutched his bald head and kneeled on the floor. _Some people can be so strange…_

Adi rolled her eyes. "Mace stop being such a BABY!"

Mace looked up. "But Sonny will never speak again! Such potential… Gone! Gone!!"

Tahl sighed and said, "Mace, Sonny wasn't living. He was a HOLOVID RECORDER, FOR SITH'S SAKE!!"

**--**

Mace: But…

Tahl: Oh, god.

Mace: WAAAH!!

Adi: I think I'm surrounded by weirdos.

**--**

Meanwhile, back on center stage…

"DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" the audience chanted.

Qui Gon began to sweat. Obi Wan nibbled his fingernails, looking somewhat deranged.

Kit: Comon'! What are ya, chicken?

Qui Gon nods.

Aayla: Pathetic.

Anakin: Agreed.

Qui Gon: So much pressure!!

Obi Wan: Augh… my head…

Qui Gon: FINE!!

Obi Wan: (side note in a whisper…) He's lost it.

Qui Gon: Obi, you're in with me.

Obi Wan: He really HAS lost it.

Qui Gon: A-ah-ahemm!

Obi Wan: Jeez.

Qui Gon: Come on, Obi…

Obi Wan: OHHHH NOO…

Qui Gon: Obbbbbbiiiiiii….

Obi Wan: Quuiiiiiiiigggggggyyyyyyyyyyy…

Qui Gon: Hey! Whiny-Wan…

Obi Wan: Quiggy-pooo…

Qui Gon: Stinky-Waaaan..

Obi Wan: Quiiiiggggyyyyy-stinky-poodoo…

Qui Gon: (growls) Obi Wan, you're in for it! Quit calling me that!

Obi Wan: Make me! (sticks out tongue)

Qui Gon: Fine! I WILL!

Obi Wan: Eep!

Tahl and Luminara: Did you just 'Eep!'?

Obi Wan: Yesss..

Tahl: Ha! You're such a wimp! Scared of that big, pathetic, cute, and absolutely adorable lump!

Obi Wan: Did you just call Qui Gon 'cute and absolutely adorable'?!

Tahl: Errr… No!

Obi Wan: Yes you did!

Luminara: (interrupts them) Ahem… Obi Wan, did you just eep?

Obi Wan: No! Yes! Maybe! Noo!

Luminara: (giggles; Barriss gives her a shocked look)Awwww…

Obi Wan: (mistakes for insult) It was a… a manly eep!

Tahl: (snorts) Yeah, right! There's no such thing!

Barriss: Master, did you just giggle?

Luminara: Me?

Barriss: Yes. Yes you.

Luminara: N-no…

Obi Wan: Yes!

Qui Gon: So are ya gonna do it or not?

Obi Wan: (fidgets) Erm…

Kit: Speaking of which, where did Yoda and Yaddle go?

Obi Wan: (shrugs) Dunno..

Qui Gon: Don't know, don't care

Tahl: Hmm.. You don't think they went off somewhere, do you?

Barriss: Could they be concealing themselves? You know, making themselves invisible? They're pretty good at that.

Qui Gon: But if they really were somewhere together, we'd hear it. Those two can't stand each other.

There was a murmur of agreement, until Anakin piped up again.

Anakin: So, Master-dear, are you going to-

Obi Wan: Fine!

Qui Gon: YES!!

Aayla: This should be interesting…

Shaak: It appears I've been forgotten.

Tahl: Righty-o, my friend.

Shaak: The author obviously forgot to put me in…

Bant: Agreed here.

Qui Gon: Bant, you're here!

Bant: (rolls eyes) Of course I'm here.

Qui Gon: But I never noticed you!

Bant: Well, duh.

Qui Gon: Ahhhh…

Bant: DO IT!!

Qui Gon: Do wha?

Bant: Kiss Tahl!

Qui Gon: (Blushes) Right here? In front of everyone?

Tahl: Ah-em! Don't I get an opinion in this?

Luminara: Yeah!

Tahl: After all, we're the ones being kissed!

Bant: But if you say 'no', there won't be a climax to the story!

Qui Gon and Obi Wan: (looking deranged) FINE!!

Obi Wan grabbed Luminara and planted his lips on hers. Luminara just froze there, too startled to move. This enabled Obi Wan to slowly back away.

Qui Gon, however, was NOT so lucky. Tahl, having anticipated his movements, jumped aside, and flashed a round-house kick to his head – and scored. He dropped like a rock.

Tahl stood up, and brushed off her hands. Then, looking as if nothing had happened, she walked back to her seat.

Luminara turned around so quick that Obi Wan never saw her. She grabbed him in a headlock and dragged him out the door so the audience wouldn't see any bloodshed that would occur.

What was heard during the fight, which was short, but sweet, was enough for them all. It went something like this:

Kick.

Thud.

Mad-scrambling-sound.

Kick

Thud.

Crash.

Drop.

Punch.

Strangled-sound.

Thump.

Luminara strode back in and sat down. A moment later, Obi Wan crawled through the doorway, bleeding from the nose and bruised all over. He lifted his head and made a sort of choked sound like a duck who ran out of air underwater. Then, he lay back on the floor and promptly lost consciousness.

Kit looked down at the prone figures of Obi Wan and Qui Gon. "I guess we should get them to the hospital wing," he announced. Together, he and Aayla picked up Qui Gon and Obi Wan between them, and, half-dragged their heavy bundle out the door.

Bant turned around to face Luminara and Tahl. "Good shots, Masters," she said.

Tahl eyed her quizzically. "Aren't you usually on Obi's side on this?"

"Well, _USUALLY_, I'm depicted as, in my opinion, soft and way too eager- like a puppy. I'm not a puppy. I wanna show some backbone, not like I'm just Obi Wan's support to fall back on."

Tahl nodded approvingly. "Same here."

Shaak Ti popped up behind them. "Yeah, I think I definitely need some more coverage."

"I think we should try out for that free game show thingy – You know, the one that was broadcasted yesterday on the Yoda-supportive channel?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"I'm gonna try out. I'll call it the 'Dr.Bant Show. I'll help people with their problems!"

"Good luck, Padawan."

"Where'd Mace, Yoda, Yaddle, and Adi go?"

"Well, Mace is over there mourning Sonny, Adi's fallen asleep and Yoda and Yaddle went to the cafeteria."

"Ah."

"I think that before we go, I should do one last thing," Bant decided.

"What?"

"Ask the oh-so-wonderful reviewers of this fanfic who should be my first victim- I mean candidate, and their problem."

"Good idea."

**--**

_There you have it! Who should be Bant's first victim/ candidate? What are their problems? Reviews Please!!_


	6. The Dr Bant Show I

The Dr Bant Show

**The Dr Bant Show**

Thank you all my awesome reviewers. Now, on with the show!

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars and its characters. The wonderful George Lucas does.

--

"Hey Bant!"

"What?"

"You won!"

"Won what?"

"That game show!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"YAY!!"

"Yippee!"

Turning to her hyperactive friends, Bant smiled faintly. "I think I'll need a crew for my show," she began worriedly. She didn't have to wonder where she would get one. She was met with an overwhelming "ME!!"

Bant blinked. "Okay…"

"Can I do lighting?"

Bant wrote down, _Shaak Ti - Lighting Equipment_.

As she went on, her paper was soon full. At the end, it looked like this:

_Shaak Ti – Lighting Equipment_

_Barriss Offee – Rigging/Wires_

_Aayla Secura – Makeup and Costume_

_Depa Billaba – Interviewing Contestants_

_Tahl – Manager_

_Luminara Unduli – Finance Manager_

--

_**A few months later………**_

Bant adjusted her position. Adi was the first contestant for the day's show. According to the agenda Tahl had given her, there were two people for today: Adi Gallia and Obi Wan Kenobi.

Looking up, she saw Shaak turn the cameras. Giving her a 'thumbs up', Shaak started it up.

Bant: Welcome to the Dr. Bant Show! I'm Dr Bant, your host for tonight! Adi, come onto the stage!

(Adi walks in and takes a seat)

Adi: Hi everyone…

Bant: Adi, what's your dilemma?

Adi: I'm scared of Mace Windu.

Bant: Aren't we all?

Adi: No, no, I'm scared of him trying to kiss me!

Bant: Well. That's different.

Adi: 'Course it is. That's why I'm here!

Bant: Oh.

Adi: …

Bant: What am I supposed to do now?

Adi: Help me.

Bant: Oh. Okay.

Adi: Wellll?

Bant: Stay as far away as you can.

Adi: That's what I've been doing..

Bant: Why does he want you anyway?

Adi: He likes me.

Bant: Ouch.

Adi: Yup.

Bant: So stay away from him, or hit on another guy to make him go away.

Adi: Righty-O. But who–

Bant: Obi Wan.

Adi: But he's got Luminara!

Bant: No he doesn't. Luminara doesn't want him.

Adi: Really?

Bant: She ditched him just after you fell asleep that time we were playing 'Secrets Revealed'.

Adi: Oh.

Bant: So!

Adi: Got it.

Bant: Do you think it'll work?

Adi: Yes.

Bant: You could try ignoring him, too. That sometimes works.

Adi: Mhmm…

Bant: So what do I do now?

Adi: Go on to the next person.

Bant: Okay. Bye Adi!

(Adi goes offstage.)

Bant: Okay, Obi Wan!

(Obi Wan walks onstage with Qui Gon Jinn)

Bant: Master Jinn! Why are you here?

Qui Gon: To make sure Obi Wan behaves himself.

Obi Wan: Quiggy!

Qui Gon: Whiny-Wan! We're on worldwide HolonNws!

Obi Wan: I know that, Quiggy.

Qui Gon: (Hushed whisper) Obi Wan Ben Kenobi!

Obi Wan: (Mockingly) Oh, help he's using my full name! I'm in so much trouble now!

Qui Gon: Ahem. You ARE in trouble.

Obi Wan: Hum.

Bant: AHEM!

(Obi Wan and Qui Gon look at her)

Bant: Now, back on topic. Obi Wan, what's your… crisis?

Qui Gon: Mental, scrawniness, intelligence, height (ahem, note note MY height compared to his), strength, and girl problems.

Bant winced.

Obi Wan: Hey!

Qui Gon: It's true! Compared to me, strong, handsome and brave, with a somewhat successfull Padawan, compared you, weak, ugly, and wimpy, with a Padawan turned Sith! You are no match!

Obi Wan: (Hisses and growls)

Qui Gon: (pathetically) Good-kitty…

Obi Wan leaped. Qui Gon screamed liked a girl and dropped down to the ground, cowering. Obi Wan landed on Qui Gon and managed to claw out several tufts of hair and skin before Tahl (who appeared out of nowhere) managed to get him off with the Force.

Obi Wan: Hey! Why're you helping him and not me!

Tahl: (displaying her famous dry sense of humor) You didn't look like you needed any help. Besides, how could I let Qui Gon die?

Obi Wan: (sulking) You could've.

Tahl: No I couldn't. Even though he acts all tough and strong, he's actually a big old softie underneath, hmm?

Qui Gon: (growls commandingly)

Tahl: Well, ex-cuse me!

Qui Gon: (sighs)

Tahl: Quit being down on yourself! You know I hate that.

Qui Gon: Harrumph.

Tahl: Don't be a grump…

Qui Gon: (sighs and drops back on ground)

Tahl (bends down next to him): Don't be down on yourself because you deserved being beat up by Obi because you were so self-conceited you couldn't see past your needs!

Qui Gon: (Whimpers pathetically)

Tahl: Jeezers. Bant, I'll get him offstage… You deal with Obi Wan. (Drags Qui off the stage)

Bant: (looks overwhelmed) Well.

Obi Wan: I also have (looks where Qui Gon went) Master problems (hem hem)

Bant: You sound like Yoda when you do that.

Obi Wan: Except I don't speak backwards, I'm not a green dwarf, and I'm definitely no 900 years old.

Bant: So, we'll start on mental problems.

Obi Wan: I don't have any!

Qui Gon (from backstage): Do too!

Obi Wan: Why?

Qui Gon: You're scared of-

Obi Wan: DON"T TELL!!

--

_What is Obi Wan scared of? All in the Dr Bant Show Episode II! Reviews please!_


	7. The Dr Bant Show II

The Dr Bant Show II

The Dr Bant Show II

Short chappie, I'm busy…

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars and its characters…

--

Obi Wan: DON'T TELL!!

Qui Gon: (innocently) Why not?

Obi Wan: Because I'll have no dignity left!

Qui Gon: You don't _have_ any dignity!

Obi Wan: (sniffles) Do too.

Qui Gon: Do _not._

Bant: Ah-em!

(Qui Gon and Obi Wan look at her)

Bant: Back to the topic. Obi Wan, what are you scared of?

Obi Wan: I'm not telling!

Qui Gon (at same times): Bunnies!

Bant: Bunnies?

Qui Gon: Yes!

(Obi Wan shoots Quiggy death-glare)

Qui Gon: (Wicked grin) Every time he sees a bunny he starts screaming and curls up on the ground.

Obi Wan: Grrrr….

Qui Gon: You see, it's been like that since I lost his favorite stuffed animal in the wash when he was eleven – which happened to be a stuffed bunny. Now every single time he sees a little bunny wabbit he thinks it'll disappear.

Obi Wan: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….

Qui Gon: He is _such_ a wimp.

Obi Wan: Hisssssss…

Qui Gon: Eh?

Obi Wan: Huuurrrrrrggggghhrrrrr!!

Qui Gon: Goodkitty-Goodkitty-Goodkitty-Goodkitty-Goodkitty-Goodkitty-Goodkitty-Goodkitty-Goodkitty-Goodkitty-Goodkitty-Goodkitty-Ahhh!!

Obi Wan leapt with a full-throated roar. Qui Gon shrieked and dropped to the ground for the second time that day, cowering. Obi Wan landed on top of him, hissing and clawing. This time, there was no Tahl to save Qui Gon from a fate worse than death. It was – the Obi Wan sissy hold!

Qui Gon screamed as Obi Wan yanked his underwear up. The audience on worldwide HoloNews could see it now: Qui Gon Jinn, Jedi Master, wore pink boxer shorts with red hearts on them!

Bant looked on, shocked, as Obi Wan proceeded to claw out several pieces of Qui Gon's hair. Qui Gon screeched, and flailed around wildly. At last, Obi Wan dropped Qui Gon to the ground, and walked offstage, acting as if he hadn't just humiliated his Master in front of the whole galaxy.

Bant: Qui Gon?

Qui Gon: Hwurghhh… (loses consciousness)

Bant: Hmmm… Barriss! Hey, Barriss!

(Barriss comes running)

Barriss: What?

Bant: You're a Healer, right?

Barriss: Yeah…

(Bant gestures to Qui Gon)

Barriss: Ah. Ouch.

Bant: Obi Wan did it.

Barriss: (sighs)

Barriss dropped to the ground and proceeded to check Qui Gon's vitals. "He's fine, except for the scratches…"

Bant: Whew! I thought he was dead!

Barriss: Hmm…

Bant: So, where'd Obi Wan go?

Barriss: Dunno. Ran screaming offstage. Tahl and Luminara have gone to get him.

Bant: Oh.

Barriss: Well, I'll leave you to your show.

Bant: Okay… The problem, though, is that I need Obi Wan for it!

Barriss: Good luck getting him back. Try Qui Gon right now. I think he's finally regaining consciousness.

Bant: Hmm, this isn't going so well… I wonder if this was a good idea after all…

Suddenly, Yoda and Yaddle jumped onstage. "Problem, we have!" Yaddle exclaimed.

"Stand each other, we cannot! Yet same Council room, we must be in, at same time, we must! Solve this, you should!" Yoda shouted.

Bant looked from one green dwarf to the next. "How?"

Yaddle tapped her foot impatiently. "Know, you should!"

Bant looked at the ceiling. Then at Yoda and Yaddle. Then back at the ceiling. Yoda and Yaddle looked up there, too, but they didn't see anything.

Bant thought for a long moment. "Maybe I should just end this show and get it over with."

"NOOOO!!"

"Well…"

--

_So, my dear readers/reviewers, should Bant quit, or deal with Yoda and Yaddle? Reviews and answers, please! Btw, who wants some Qui/Tahl mush? _


	8. The Dr Bant Show III

The Dr Bant Show III

**The Dr Bant Show III**

**AN: Ack! Writer's block… **

**Raven of Alaska: **Sorry.. I don't know what American Idol is (Yes, I know, gasp! I don't watch TV much)… And, I don't know who Simon is!

**DarthKenObi-Wan: **Okay! I can do that..

**Jedi Ani Unduli: **I like Jeopardy :). Maybe.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars and its characters… or, in fact, quite anything in here! Hmm.. I also don't own the Bible… **

_**From the previous chapter… **_

Bant looked at the ceiling. Then at Yoda and Yaddle. Then back at the ceiling. Yoda and Yaddle looked up there, too, but they didn't see anything.

Bant thought for a long moment. "Maybe I should just end this show and get it over with."

"NOOOO!!"

"Well… Fine. I'll stay."

"YES!"

"O-key…"

"So, Yoda, Yaddle… You can't stand each other but you have to be in the same council room at the same time?"

Yoda and Yaddle nodded in unison.

"Well… that's tough."

"Do something, will you?" Yaddle demanded.

"Okay.."

"Such as, what you say?"

"Try.. ignoring each other?"

Yaddle gave an exasperated sigh. "Ignore him, I cannot. Listen to him blab, I must, for receive missions, I must. Help, that does not."

"Umm… don't talk to each other?"

"Debates, we must have."

"Er…"

"Well?"

"I know! Be friends!"

Yoda and Yaddle stared at her in shock. "Friends?" they echoed.

"Yes, friends. Be nice to each other."

Yoda shook his head. "Crazy, you are…"

"Impossible," Yaddle exclaimed.

"Why not?"

"Because enemies, we are. In the Holy Bible, it is."

"Not forever! And no, it isn't."

Yoda and Yaddle looked suspiciously at her. _What did she mean?_

Bant took a deep breath, and said, "You two will have to be stuck together for the next whole week! Then, come back here and we'll see what's happened!"

With that, she yanked out a roll of duct tape and proceeded to tie one foot from each together.

Yoda and Yaddle could only gape in shock; never had such a proclamation been made to them!

Bant smiled broadly. "See you next week!"

_**Next week… **_

Yoda and Yaddle marched in, bickering among each other on who got to place whose foot before the other.

"My turn, it is."

"Wrong, you are! _My _turn it is!"

And so on.

Bant sighed. It didn't look like her project had worked.

Yoda and Yaddle halted in the middle of the stage. "Learned to negotiate, we have! Friends, we are not, but acquaintances!"

"Well, I guess that's the first step…"

"Also, wish you we do, that you remove this tape."

Bant brought out her lightsaber, and sliced through it with a resigned attitude. _I guess it's better than nothing… _

Yoda and Yaddle separated instantly, and waddled offstage in different directions.

"Yoda, no! That's the.."

Her words came too late as there was a loud crash, and rude swearing that will not be written here because it's far too… offensive.

"…rigging cables."

**Ack, writer's block! Sigh… So, Jeopardy, and if someone could explain what American Idol is, Jedi Idol, might be up.. sooner or later. Sorry for the wait.. I was going to post this 2 days ago, but I forgot.. silly me. **


	9. Jedi Idol I

Jedi Idol Part I

**Jedi Idol Part I**

**Okay, I FINALLY decided to start Jedi Idol. May you all enjoy. May the Force be with you.**

**DarthKenObi-Wan: **Thanks! Okay, now we have Jedi who sing! Ooh, maybe we should make them rap..

**Jedi Ani Unduli**: Okay! Holonet, it is.. it's gonna be GALAXY-WIDE!! MWAHAHA!!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, Jonas Brothers, Celine Dion, or any of the artists/songs/albums/releases listed here. I made up Jerry Brown, so anyone with that name, sorry… **

**Special thanks to ****Jedi Ani Unduli****, and ****DarthKenObi-Wan**** for being awesome reviewers and for all the suggestions and encouragement and reviews :). You guys rock. **

On the HoloNet screen… 

_Are you a Jedi/Sith? Like to sing and dance? Want to be famous? Got talent? Think you're the best? Then come a try out on Jedi Idol! Apply at the Jedi Temple. _

Anakin, Bant, Tahl, Qui Gon, Obi Wan, Adi, Mace, Yoda, Kit, Aayla Barriss, Luminara and Yaddle looked at one another. "Should we try?" Obi Wan asked?

Mace groaned. "Sure. Just to get us out of this boredom stupor.."

Bant: I'm fine with it.

Kit and Aayla: Nope.. I can't sing…

Tahl: Well, fine…

Qui Gon: Hurry fast.

Barriss and Luminara: A-OK with us.

Anakin: Ok! I'm awesome at singing!

Bant: You also said you were awesome at cooking. Then why, oh why, did the kitchen blow up when you were making pancakes?

Anakin: That was a… misunderstanding between the gas knob and the temperature knob… I didn't mean to set both at high!

Qui Gon: There there, Ani.. This is all Obi Wan's fault! He was such a terrible cook I got food poisoning for 3 months.. And he never taught you to cook properly! Don't worry.. I understand…

Obi Wan: That was your own cooking you were eating!

Qui Gon: Still. You were the one who added the spices-salt, pepper, and such.

Obi Wan: You're the one who said orange peels would taste good in a hot-sauce taco.

Qui Gon: That was a mistake!

Obi Wan: Surreeee… And it was also a mistake that you told this to Master Yoda, who actually tried it.. Poor guy was hospitalized… Tsk-tsk, he shouldn't be so trusting to one who CONSTANTLY disobeys the Council and Code…

Bant: Hello-o. Can we get back to the topic? We'll try out.

_**Some time later… **_

Tahl: Hey guys! We won!

Qui Gon: Yes! (Whooping cheer from the others)

Obi Wan: Okay…

Tahl: Says here we're supposed to meet at 12 noon at the second theatre room in the Temple on the 18th of July for the contest… Be there, guys! Don't be late!

_**12 noon July 18, year 54299-Second theatre, the Temple**_

Anakin, Bant, Tahl, Qui Gon, Obi Wan, Mace, Yoda, Luminara, Barriss and Yaddle are assembled in the theater. There is an audience in front of them.

The judges are sitting at a side table, watching. The game show host strolls in, smiling cheesily at the spectators.

"Welcome, welcome! I am Jerry Brown, your host for today! This awesome day has brought 11 of the finest Jedi in the Order to compete! So welcome, Anakin, Bant, Tahl, Qui Gon, Obi Wan, Mace, Yoda, Barriss Luminara and Yaddle!! Their singing/dancing will be seen live on HoloNews Galactica!"

Anakin, Bant, Tahl, Qui Gon, Obi Wan, Adi, Mace, Yoda, Barriss, Luminara and Yaddle each bowed and waved as their name was called.

"So today, we'll begin with Anakin Skywalker! Anakin, Mr. Skywalker, what are you going to sing?"

Anakin took a deep breath. "I'm going to sing 'SOS' by the Jonas Brothers."

"There you have it, folks! Music!"

The music began, and Anakin took another deep breath.

"Told-ddddd you I made dinner planssss -"

The audience covered their ears. Somewhere in the distance, a landspeeder crashed, and a cat died (sensitive hearing, you know).

"Enough" – "For yoooooou and meeeeeee and no one elseeeeee–" – "STOP!!"

Anakin stopped, wide-eyed.

"That's enough for now; you may take your seat…"

"Next; Bant Eerin."

Bant stepped up.

"Bant, what are you going to sing?"

"'These Are The Special Times', by Celine Dion."

"Okay, Bant… Good luck! Music!"

Bant breathed in.. and out..

"These are the special times.. These are the moments…"

She sang on, and everyone watched in rapture. Tahl was secretly cheering for Bant; Anakin was looking bored and resigned.

When she finished, Jerry applauded. "Well done, Bant, please take your seat.."

The judges scribbled a few furious notes, and Anakin studied his fingernails. He didn't understand why he'd even signed up; he wasn't even good at this.

"Next up;Obi Wan Kenobi! Obi Wan, what are you going to sing/dance?"

"I'm going to sing High School Musical 'We're All In This Together.'"

**Should Obi Wan do better than Anakin? Should Anakin bear a grudge to the winner of this contest? YOU choose! Just add your answer on your review! **

**Jedi Idol Part II coming up! Sorry for the delay, all you awesome readers and reviewers.. I'll try to update sooner! **


	10. Jedi Idol II

**Jedi Idol Part II**

**OK, I know I've been stalling.. here's the last instalment of Jedi Games. (sob) Okay, who wants a sequel? I'll explain more later.**

**Disclaimer: I is no own Star Wars, High School Musical, or any of the songs mentioned here.**

--

_From the previous chapter…_

"_Next up; Obi Wan Kenobi! Obi Wan, what are you going to sing/dance?"_

"_I'm going to sing High School Musical 'We're All In This Together.'"_

"Okay, Obi Wan," Jerry said, smiling fakely, "Show us your stuff. Hit it, guys!"

The music began with a loud, steady drumbeat.

"Together, together, together every-"

At that moment, two beings of an unknown humanoid species (just slightly taller than Yoda) wearing black cloaks swooped down and grabbed our dearly beloved Obi Wan by the scruff of his robe. Obi Wan struggled, but he was no match. Luminara gasped as the two _things_ swing down onto the stage by a long metallic cord, landing conveniently on Obi Wan, knocking him unconscious with their weight.

"Muahaha!!" said one, his- or her, Luminara couldn't tell – voice high and squeaky. "We have captured the great singing one! His voice will be a great asset to us!"

With that, the strange duo jump up. However, Qui Gon Jinn seemed to have other plans. He certainly wasn't going to let a bunch of midgets kidnap his Paddy, whom he had spent years of training on! Qui Gon sprang, leaping from his chair, and grabbing hold of the chord just above the first.. _thing._ It squeaked indignantly, and grabbed Qui Gon's facial hair. Luminara watched all this from the stage, thinking, subconsciously, how silly they looked – never mind the fact that this was being broadcasted live. Qui Gon grappled with the creature holding his beard and, with a ferocious kick, sent it spinning to the ground, where it lay, dazed. The second screeched loudly, swatting at Qui Gon with a tiny hand. Qui Gon ignored it, and tried to knock the being's claw-like hand from Obi Wan's neck. It didn't work. In fact, Qui Gon got punched in the head, and fell the next two feet to the ground. The first "organism" was now back in action, having recovered from Qui Gon's blow. It leapt onto the end of the rope, adding its momentum to the swinging of the cord. The pair tossed a pellet to the ground; the air suddenly became foggy. Luminara could only watch as two shadowy shapes swung themselves and Obi Wan over them and through the open window. When the smoke cleared, they were gone.

Jerry stared, dumbstruck, at the spot where Obi Wan had been standing, moments before. He cleared his throat, self-consciously, realizing that everyone was looking at him. "Er.. let's.. er.."

Thankfully, Mace decided to step in and save him. "I'll go next. I'm sure that we will organize a successful search party for Master Kenobi, but let us direct our attention to other matters. Such as me."

"Very well.. what will you sing?"

"My heart will go on."

"Pardon?"

"My heart will go on."

"Er, we know you're sad about Master Kenobi's.. disappearance.. but-"

"No, no, the song is called "My heart will go on", you, you, bantha fodder!"

"Erm.. right."

"Okay?!"

"Okay. Music!"

The music began, lilting flute notes playing in the air. Mace took a deep breath…

"Ev-ery niiiiiight in myyyyyyy dreeeeeeeeams… I seeeeeeeeeeeee yooooooooooouuuuuu… I- "

"ENOUGH!!"

Qui Gon was on the floor, his hands covering his ears. "Please, no more! Don't torture me so!!"

Mace stared down at him in surprise. "Say wha?"

"No more! I can't take it! My delicate ears, breaking, shattering, MY BRAINS, OOZING IN A GIANT MESS ON THE CARPET! OH, THE PAIN! THE PAIN!! I'M DYING AN EARLY AND PAINFUL DEATH!"- "Early?" Tahl snorted. "You'd be helping us all." Qui Gon ignored her, and continued his rant. "MY BRAINS, YES, SQUISHING OUT IN A HELPLESS STRUGGLE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH!! OH WOE, IS I, OH WOE, WOE, WOE, WOE, WOE, WOE!!"

Luminara rolled her eyes, and turned her attention to Jerry, who was gesturing for Mace to sit. "Er.. Next is Adi Gallia. Adi? A-di? Adi?"

Luminara heard the sound of retching behind the stage. It sounded like she was throwing up – from the sight of her dear Obi Wan being kidnapped, or from Mace's singing – better described as screeching.

"Adi seems to be.. busy. So, we'll go to Luminara Unduli and Barriss Offee!"

Luminara stood up, motioning for Barriss to join her. Her Padawan stood only three inches shorter. She was growing fast. Soon she would be taller than her Master.

Jerry's shrill voice jolted her from her thoughts. "Okay, Luminara, Barriss.. What will you lovely ladies sing for us today?"

Luminara could practically see Barriss rolling her eyes at the announcer. Hastening, Luminara said, "We'll be singing Celine Dion's "I Got Nothing Left"."

"Righty-o. Mus-ic!"

Barriss began first, her clear voice echoing around the theatre. "Anyone ever tell you that you're not whole.."

Luminara picked up where she left off. "Hollow shell of a mind without a soul.."

They sang on, each picking up off from where the other left off. When they finished, Jerry just stared at them. "Oooh.. great job, ladies," he said, winking. Barriss shook her head slightly at him. "Next up is our favourite pair.. Qui Gon and Tahl!"

Qui Gon strutted up to the stage like a rooster. Tahl followed, rolling her eyes slightly at his clothing. It was easy to see why; he was dressed in a blue robe with golden tassels hanging all over. Boots with silver and gold buckles shined on his boots. He puffed out his chest and boomed in his prissiest-or was that his normal-voice, "We shall sing, "Top of the World," by Carpenter. Music!" he added, before Jerry could speak.

"I'm on the top of the wooorld," shouted Qui Gon, completely off-tune. "Lookin' down on creaaaaation.."

Tahl mumbled, "Yes, you are.."

Barriss nudged Luminara. "I thought Tahl wanted to be in the contest."

Luminara whispered back, "She did, but obviously with our famous egoist.."

Barriss sniggered slightly. "I thought she liked Qui Gon.."

"You've been reading the Jedi Apprentice novels again, haven't you?"

"Well…"

"Oh come on, Barriss. You know novels and writing never speak the truth. I mean, just look at "The Approaching Storm." They made me look like I was this person who perfect! I mean, Mary Sue much!"

"Agreed."

Luminara returned her attention to Qui Gon and Tahl, the latter of which was simply mumbling while Qui Gon bellowed like an alarmed cow. Barriss winced as he tried to reach the high notes. "Oh… my ears.."

"There, there…" Luminara cooed soothingly. "It's not so bad once he's finished the high part.."

"But that's the problem.. He's only getting started."

Luminara turned to face her. "How do you know?"

"Because I've heard this song before.. this is could be bad.."

"Very bad."

"Agreed. Poor Tahl."

They looked over at Tahl. She had given up singing, and was somewhat shuffling offstage, despite being blind, able to "see" where to go. It was obvious, once again, to see why; Qui Gon had fallen onto one knee, and though Tahl couldn't see this, she could hear him bellowing and yelling "I'm on the top of the WORLDDDD!!"

"Oh deeear.."

"Do you think it's too late to back out? I don't think I can take this any longer."

"Same."

Just then, Qui Gon ended his "one-man–duet". The crowd just looked stunned, until one six-year-old poked his mom, and whined, "Can we go now? That fat man dressed all fancy is scaring me."

Qui Gon turned red, and started toward the kid. Tahl sighed, and went after him, hauling him with her (amazing) strength (it's hard to even budge a man Qui Gon's size, you know..) backstage, where everyone could still hear her ranting at him about "teamwork" and "hogging the stage" and "beating up little children" and "ruining everyone's ears". They could also hear Qui Gon's spluttered protests that his singing was "awesome" and "impeccable in tone and depth" and that he had "no intention of hurting the little kid".

"Right," murmured Barriss, snickering.

Jerry stepped up, back on the podium, cheesy smile in place, though his eyes still betrayed the horrors Qui Gon's singing had done. "What an.. enthusiastic performance. Thank you…"

The crowd booed.

"Right. Now, the judges will announce the winners…"

One of the judges walked forwards and handed him a small, folded slip of paper.

Jerry unfolded it, gasping theatrically. "It was a close match," he said, shaking his head slightly for effect, "But it all came down to.. Ms Eerin!"

The diminutive Mon Cal stepped forwards, the perpetually surprised look on her face intensified. "Great job, Bant! Any words?"

"Erm.. thank you so much!"

"Ok.. Anything else?"

Bant shook her head, somewhat shyer than usual. She scurried back to her seat, her ribbon in hand, or flipper-thingy.

Jerry looked around. "Well I guess it's up to me.."

Mace spoke up, still glowering at having lost. "What's up to you, dork-face, you horrible, horrible person, you-"

Jerry raised his hands for silence. "This."

He spoke, clearly, "The end."

Luminara squeaked, loudly. Everyone looked at her. Barriss immediately said, "I don't know her."

Luminara swatted her Paddy. "Yes you do.. Padawan." Barriss cringed. "Really, she's making it up! I don't know her at all.."

Luminara ignored her. "It can't be over. We haven't found Obi Wan."

Bant gasped, putting her hands or flipper-thingy-ma-jiggys to her mouth. "Oh Force! I completely forgot about poor Obi Wan!"

"Did anyone see his attackers, anyway?"

Bant thought for a moment. "Um.. they had painted faces. Some sort of tribal marking?"

"Okay. We have quest to do."

--

**Yes, I know it's short. Sorry. My sense of humor has disappeared along with me sleep. OK!! Sequel? Or no sequel? Place your vote in your review!! The more the better!! And can anyone guess what the Obi-nappers are? Only Jedi Ani Unduli knows, because she betaed this.. Many thanks, mon ami!!**

**Jedi Rescue Trailer**

**A dark, dark valley…**

A cry echoing along the cliffs..

A blond-red man shouts..

**A dark, dark hour…**

A dark haired woman screams, dropping down into a pit..

A man with long, chestnut hair reaches out to grab something in desperation..

**Can our Jedi save him – more yet, can they survive?**

Two lightsabers clash, blue and green, glowing on the cave walls..

A splatter of blood against the cliffs..

**Will help come too late – or too soon?**

Two face painted beings bring in a prisoner..

A cry of pain sounds throughout..

**A dark, dark valley..**

**A dark, dark hour..**

**Can our Jedi save him – more yet, can they survive?**

**Will help come too late – or too soon?**

**Can our Jedi.. **

**Save..**

**Rescue..**

**Help..**

**Too late..**

**Too soon..**

**Rescue..**

**Jedi Rescue: Coming to your local fanfiction board in October/November, 2008! **


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